Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
