if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
