What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
