I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
