you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
