you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
