"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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