Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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