Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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