You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
