i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
