I just cut my nipple shaving
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
We talked him into tasing himself.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So vagazzling was a success
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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