why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
