Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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