How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize