Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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