Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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