I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
