It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
