He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
