At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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