I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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