I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
