How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
