I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize