it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I love you. Go after that dick
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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