There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize