the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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