One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
