I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
