i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize