have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
