A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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