everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am spending my child support on dildos
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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