I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
