i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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