and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize