You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
