I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
