i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
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