check it out our google latitudes are spooning
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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