I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
