Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
