she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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