dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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