Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
