I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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