things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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