This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
