Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
