so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
