Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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