Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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