he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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