i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
