Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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