it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
