I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I just blew my weed a kiss
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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