And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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