I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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