Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
