i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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