take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
