the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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