I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
