I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She announced her abortion via fbk
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize