I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
