weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize