thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
