I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
