just come out here and I will go home with you...
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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