come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
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